Harry's Sanity
by SilverWolf7007
Summary: I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous. Seamus Finnigan.' In which Harry's mental state is discussed. Relentlessly.
1. Part the First

_"I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." - Seamus Finnigan._

**Harry's Sanity**

**A Pointless Story in Four Parts**

**_Part the First - In Which Harry's Mental State Is Discussed_**

_**Introduction - The Media Obsession With Hogwarts' Asylum Status**_

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had been called many, many things in her thousand plus years of existence, some names used more often than others.

However, only three times had it been referred to as an asylum for the mentally unstable (yes, in that exact wording).

The first time, right after Albus Dumbledore first become Headmaster, he instituted the short-lived rule of always having to wear one's socks over one's shoes. This resulted in students and professors alike carrying several pairs of socks with them in case of a frequent need to change into a clean pair. Thankfully, the complaints of cruelty, overwork and peg costs from the house-elves who had to clean the socks quickly won though, and the rule was abolished. This was not, however, abolished in time to avoid media coverage, and to this day Albus Dumbledore is suspected of insanity and sock obsession.

The second time Hogwarts was deemed an asylum for the mentally unstable was little known, and had been back when Lily Evans had been in her second year and therefore still adjusting to the magical world. The rather outlandish prank plans of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew (in particular the one involving a blue chicken, the one that cannot be discussed in a public forum or in front of anyone not aged between 12 and 37, and the one that left Lily glowing radioactive green for six weeks) were the last straw for poor Lily, who ranted for two hours straight before giving all four of them pink hair and foot long noses and going to bed. Again, this gained the attention of the media.

The third time had been just last week.

Somehow - the sixth year Gryffindor boys hadn't yet worked out how - but somehow, someone had overheard a conversation between the five of them concerning their best kept secret - Harry Potter's mental state.

Of course, since Cornelius Fudge and more publicly Rita Skeeter had denounced Harry's sanity and credulity, people had been speculating that the Boy Who Lived was as mad as a hatter, but it was one thing for them to say that, and another thing entirely for Dean Thomas to declare that Harry was madder than the hatter and his talking octopus as well. (That little comment might have called Dean's own sanity into question if, like Harry, he was constantly in the public eye. Luckily for Dean, he wasn't.)

The controversial conversation was one of a great many that Harry and his dorm mates held on a regular basis. The five of them were the only people in the entire world who actually _knew_ the truth about Harry's sanity...

Well, supposedly.

* * *

**_Hermione's Encounter - Make No Assumptions_**

Hermione Granger had a tendency to completely ignore rules when it suited her. And the rules about running unannounced into the boys' dorms were rules she found it suited her down to the ground to pretend didn't exist (as any teenage girl whose best friends were both male and attractive is inclined to do).

As such, she hurried in on a Monday morning to tell the boys to get moving so they had time to eat breakfast before heading to class, and found herself laying eyes on quite possibly _the_ strangest scene she had ever witnessed...and when one considered Hermione's track record, its obvious how very strange this scene must have been.

All five boys were on Harry's bed. Harry, as far as she could see, was lying down. Dean was sitting on his legs. Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom were holding his arms down to the mattress, and Seamus Finnigan was straddling Harry's waist.

Had Hermione been the sort of person to look once and make assumptions (and then run screaming about being scarred for life), she would have gotten a _very_ wrong idea about the activities within the room.

However, Hermione was _not_ that sort of person, and much preferred to analyse a situation before drawing conclusions. As such, she stood in the doorway and stared in abject shock.

It soon became apparent that no, the boys were not engaging in some kinky before-class fun. In fact, as far as Hermione could tell, they weren't finding their chosen tasks especially fun at all.

Finally finding her voice, she cleared her throat, at the same time regretting that she hadn't been able to hear whatever it was that Seamus seemed to have been telling Harry.

The boys all looked over and saw her. They stared for a few seconds, frozen in shock, before flinging themselves off Harry and onto the floor.

Except for Seamus.

* * *

_**Ginny's Confusion - Don't Worry, There is An Explanation For The Last Section's Activities (But This Isn't It)**_

It was as well known fact at Hogwarts that the sixth year Gryffindors were a tight-knit secret keeping group, and Ginny Weasley was more aware of this fact than anyone else.

This was because, as Hermione's closest female friend, Ron's sister and Harry's partner-in-crime, Ginny was in on the majority of secrets that her older housemates kept.

On this particular morning Ginny was sitting in the Common Room with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil waiting from Hermione to return from her bi-weekly task of rousing the boys, who the girls were almost certain were allergic to mornings.

The fact was, Ginny had to admit; there were still some aspects of the older students' lives and secrets that she wasn't in on. This didn't actually bother her, though. She understood that some things you just had to be there for, and some things couldn't be discussed.

However, Ginny was just about to discover something that she was positive wasn't possible: That the boys were keeping something from the girls.

She didn't even have the luck to know what that something actually was.

Ron, Dean and Neville entered the Common Room, an utterly baffled looking Hermione on their heels.

"Are you going to explain? I don't get it, what the _hell_ were you all doing? Are Harry and Seamus even _coming_ down? What the _fuck_ is going on?"

All three girls, who had been watching anyway, were more than a little shocked as Hermione swore. As Prefect and prospective (not to mention probable) Head Girl, and also as a polite individual, Hermione was heavily against swearing. And for her to do so, especially so early in the morning...well, it was unheard of.

The boys were just as astounded as the girls, and found themselves unable to answer.

Thankfully for Hermione, Seamus and Harry appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Don't worry, Hermione," the blond boy assured her. "We'll explain everything to you later...after lunch, maybe?"

Hermione nodded her reluctant acquiescence. "Very well. But I expect a full explanation."

"All right," Harry allowed, an odd look in his eyes. "Full explanation, for you, Lav and Parv. Sorry Gin, we can't let you in on this one."

"That's fine, Harry," she told him. "I've got class when you lot have your free anyway."

Harry nodded and they all stood to head for breakfast.

Ginny was bringing up the rear behind Harry and Dean.

"Are you up for breakfast and class, Har?"

The other boy shrugged. "Hopefully. If not, we'll find out soon. We've got Potions, and you know Snape and Malfoy. If I lose it, well, they'll be the first to find out."

Ginny frowned in confusion. What on Earth were they talking about?

* * *

**_Blaise's Musing - Not _Everyone _Is As Oblivious As The Gryffindor Girls_**

Breakfast had gone relatively smoothly (at least, no one had died or thrown food), and the Gryffindors and Slytherins were now sitting in Snape's oh so wonderful dungeon classroom.

Blaise Zabini found himself carefully watching the Gryffindor boys - something didn't seem right.

It didn't take him too long to spot it.

He had been fairly sure for quite some time now that Harry Potter was, to put it nicely, somewhat mentally unstable. This was not an opinion formed after reading an article by Rita Skeeter; in fact, Blaise had made his decision that Harry was insane before Skeeter even considered it a possibility.

It was doubtful that anyone could live Harry's life and come out of it mentally unscathed, and Harry hadn't. It wasn't an obvious thing, and he was not what some people would call insane.

He was, however, definitely unstable. But somehow, the boys he shared a dorm with were keeping him from actually causing any harm that could get him a) expelled, b) arrested or c) killed. This was a good thing.

But today, as Blaise had immediately noticed, the boys had not been able to complete whatever it was they did, and Blaise could tell by the look in Harry's eyes that anyone who got on the wrong side of him today would definitely come off the worst for it.

It just _had_ to be a Monday, didn't it? Double Potions, first thing. If Draco managed to control his impulses to torment the Gryffindors, then Pansy probably wouldn't, and even if all the Slytherins left them alone, Snape could be counted on to make life miserable for each and every member of Gryffindor House at any given moment - especially when it came to this particular class.

Blaise was aware that he should really do something about this. He had several options. He could, quite easily, draw Snape's attention to himself for a good portion of the lesson by completely decimating his potion for the day. But of course, Longbottom would probably manage to do the same thing, and given his track record, he would do it in a more spectacular method.

And of course, when Snape started in on Longbottom for that, Harry would lose it.

Blaise sighed. Well, he would just have to wing it and hope that nothing too bad happened.

* * *

**_Severus's Class - In Which Explosions Will Probably Occur_**

Severus Snape was not as stupid or oblivious as his students believed, and the moment the Gryffindors walked into his classroom he knew, just _knew_ that something was wrong.

It only took a few minutes of observation to end at the same conclusions that Blaise had only moments before.

He half considered dismissing the class and retreating to his office to hide until the day was over. However, he knew perfectly well that Albus Dumbledore, as the world champion stickybeak and meddler, would arrive not long after to 'politely ask' (read; demand to know) why he had decided not to teach a class for the first time in his teaching career.

No, that course of action would lead to nothing but trouble.

Instead, Severus quickly assigned the class to brew a potion he knew they all (even Longbottom) could, and sat behind his desk, attempting to grade essays written by the first year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.

Every few minutes, however, he glanced up to make sure that nothing was going terribly wrong, and that none of the students were risking Potter's…wrath.

Doing so, he soon realised that he was not the only one to be keeping an eye on proceedings.

Blaise Zabini was making his potion rather slowly, and was constantly looking at both his Slytherin housemates and the Gryffindor boys. No, Severus corrected himself; Blaise was watching only two of the Gryffindor boys - Potter and Longbottom.

Luckily for all, no one's potion exploded, and the Slytherins and Gryffindors seemed to be ignoring the fact of each other's existence.

Relieved, Severus dismissed them ten minutes early.

* * *

_**Albus's Lunch - Could it Be That There is Something Our Dear Headmaster is Not Aware of?**_

Albus Dumbledore was quite secure in the knowledge that he knew nearly everything that happened within his school, and he also knew the habits of his teaching staff.

He was, therefore, quite shocked when the Gryffindor and Slytherin sixth years were the first to enter the Great Hall for lunch that Monday morning, when he knew for a fact that they had just had Double Potions with Severus Snape, who was quite infamous for never letting a class out early unless it was absolutely necessary.

On that note, Albus inspected the students carefully. Not only were there no signs of injury or even stress, but also every single student in the class was there.

Albus was tempted to run down to the dungeons to make sure that Severus was still alive and well. He had never willingly dismissed his class early in his entire teaching career, let alone this class, which contained his two least favourite students.

And they had entered the Hall ten minutes before the end of class, too! That was at least twelve minutes earlier than normal.

Keeping all this in mind, Albus began a more thorough examination of the class, particularly the Gryffindor half of it.

Despite that, the first thing he noticed was the way Blaise Zabini was eyeing the Gryffindors.

Albus shifted his gaze to follow the Slytherin's, wondering what at the Gryffindor Table was occupying the boy's attention so.

At first glance, everything seemed normal.

After a few moments, it remained so.

No, wait.

Hermione Granger, he realised, kept glancing oddly at the boys. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were as well, but it was Hermione's glances that intrigued the Headmaster. Especially as the majority of them landed on her best friend, Harry Potter.

The boys, too, were keeping an eye on Harry. Mostly, Albus noticed, it was Seamus Finnigan who was looking at Harry.

At first, Albus expected Harry to be oblivious to the way his friends were watching him. However, he soon realised that it wasn't so.

Harry was completely aware that his housemates were keeping an eye on him, and, Albus realised with a start, he was also aware of Blaise's scrutiny.

And yet he did nothing about it. This quite confused Albus, who normally would have expected the boy to, at the very least, tell his friends to stop worrying about him and quit staring.

Albus, who normally knew what was going on, had to admit that these events were leaving him utterly baffled.

* * *

_Believe me, I _do _know just how incredibly odd and random that is. And to be honest, the whole story is just as pointless and probably weirder. The next two chapters are in first person, and the last is back to third. It is complete, but will be posted with a week or so between chapters. And I plan a sequel eventually, which I'll explain more about in the last chapter._

_That said, despite the strangeness, and the fact that I have a pointless story dedicated to Harry's lack of sanity…I hope you, well, if not enjoyed, were able to finish it, and please review! Er, preferably when logged in so I can try out this nifty new reply feature. Hee hee._

_S. Wolf_


	2. Part the Second

_"I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." - Seamus Finnigan._

_**Harry's Sanity**_

_**A Pointless Story in Four Parts**_

_**Part the Second - In Which Harry's 'Medication' Ritual is Discussed**_

_**Seamus Finnigan, a Monologue**_

Harry Potter is stark raving mad.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, I love him like a brother, but he's certifiably bonkers. We all know it. After all, we share a dorm with him.

Way back in first year, it was Ron who realised it. That was to be expected, really, since at first the five of us weren't as close as we are now.

Then again, three weeks into term, Harry and Ron weren't _that_ close either.

But it's hard to be oblivious to the insanity of the guy who keeps pouncing on you of a morning and declaring you the god of pancakes.

Yes, that _is_ what Harry kept doing to Ron back then.

We have several theories. Neville's favourite is that ten years with the Dursleys would addle anyone's brain, and that Harry was even more susceptible to it after having seen his parents murdered when he was a baby. Ron too rather likes this theory.

Dean, on the other hand, thinks that the killing curse Voldemort tried to slaughter Harry with mixed up his mind. His theory is supported by the curse scar, of course, and the fact that the two are connected - and that Voldemort, too, is insane.

Of course, Ron also likes to point out that Dumbledore is insane as well, and that Harry probably had contact with _him_ as a baby. Harry says that the very idea wigs him out.

I wouldn't be surprised, having met his godfathers, if he had just been dropped on his head one too many times as a baby. Apparently, that's what happened to Luna Lovegood, and she's nearly as nuts as Harry.

Speaking of the 'dogfathers', as I like to call them, Harry has his own theory. As I said, I've met Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, and I've heard the stories about the two of them, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter. And I know as well as anyone who has heard those stories that the four boys who were known as the Marauders were crazy. Not quite crazy to Harry's level, of course, but the fact is, James was his father, plus Sirius, Remus and even Peter had a large hand in raising him up until James and Lily were killed.

Ah, and of course, Lily was about as sane as her husband, so with them as parents, poor Harry never really stood a chance. Well, that's Harry's theory, anyway.

So yes, Ron Weasley was (loudly) declared god of pancakes on the Monday of our third week ever at Hogwarts. For Neville, Dean and myself, it was quite an amusing sight that morning, with Harry straddling Ron, proclaiming that his friend was a deity of foodstuffs for us all to hear, and bouncing.

It was probably a good thing that they weren't that close to Hermione back then, as she would surely have noticed that Harry was far more hyper than normal for a week or so.

We all just assumed that Harry had stashed a whole heap of sweets in his trunk and eaten them in the middle of the night, and was in the midst of riding out a massive sugar high.

Of course, it stopped being so amusing, and so easy to explain away, the next morning, when he jumped on me at five AM and yelled, as loudly as possible, that I was the evil pink bunny of the apocalypse.

Next morning, Neville became Commander Pessimism of the Blue Glowing Guy Fleet, and the morning after that, Dean was a rubber ducky.

At one point, we left Harry reading comics in the library and hared back to the dorm, sitting down on Nev's bed to discuss what the hell we were gonna do.

Several times, we almost gave in and headed for McGonagall. But we didn't.

Instead, we devised a strategy that we hoped would work, and planned to get up earlier than Harry and try it out.

I'm not going to bother mentioning what it was, because it was an utter failure.

The morning after that, as we hadn't been able to work out a second plan, Harry tried to tickle us all to death.

Now, this is where my theory on why Harry is insane comes in. While trying to work out what we could do the next morning to, for lack of better words, 'sane' our friend, we wondered why it hadn't kicked in until three weeks into term.

At the time, I didn't really have a basis for my theory, but suggested that it may be because he hadn't been exposed to magic until now, and the magic that had entered his system slowly seeped in and affected his mental process in some way.

The fact that Harry always has a few weeks after returning to Hogwarts after summer before he needs his 'medication' only lends weight to my theory, though of course we didn't have precedent to compare to back then.

It was actually Dean, the only student in the entire school who doesn't really like junk food, who came up with the idea that ended up being our saving grace.

Unlike Hermione, Dean wasn't raised by dentists who wanted to keep their daughter's teeth as perfect as possible and therefore only gave her sweets on _very_ special occasions. Hermione, also, eats them rarely even now, but that's more habit than anything.

No, for some reason Dean just doesn't like the taste. Not even chocolate, really, though he likes the dark stuff somewhat.

But yes, Dean came up with the idea. He said that as it was like Harry was on a permanent major sugar high, maybe overwhelming his system with mass sugar would help.

At a loss for any other ideas, we pooled our sweets stash and tried it.

Lo and behold, after giving him sugar, Harry was...even less sane than before.

_But_, the next morning, he was almost calm as he straddled my chest and poked my nose to wake me up. He gave me this pathetically hopeful look and said, "Seamus, can I have some chocolate?"

Now, as we were nearly ready to call in the teachers, I didn't see the harm in giving him some. So I did. And he left my bed, sat on his own, quickly ate his chocolate, and then found his robes and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

I stared after him in shock. For Harry, that was positively _sane_.

I immediately woke my roommates and told them what had happened. We all decided to keep a close eye on Harry that day - not that we weren't anyway.

And to our shock, Harry was back to his sane self by the time we left for breakfast.

The next morning, instead of Harry coming to me, I went to him. I woke him up, handed him a bar of chocolate, and went back to bed for half an hour.

Again, Harry was sane by breakfast.

So that has been our routine. On the first day the insanity comes back, we give him a lot of sugar. He goes crazier, but the next morning we just give him a bit, and he's fine for the day.

That worked perfectly well...until this morning, that is.

* * *

**_Dean Thomas, Thoughts of Morning_**

We don't each have a specified day to provide the sugar. Usually we all have a few chocolate frogs or sugar quills lying around. So we scrounge up what we can the night before.

For some reason, though, we didn't do that last night.

I mean, as a general rule, we'll have the stuff in our top drawers. It's easy to grab.

But we got too cocky.

I was the first to wake up, so I checked my drawer. Nothing. I checked the rest of them. Nothing. I checked my trunk. Again, nothing.

Frantic, I woke Neville and together we searched his drawers and trunk. Nothing.

We woke Seamus and Ron, with similar results.

As quietly as possible, we checked the drawers and trunk of the still-sleeping Harry. Not a single thing containing sugar in the entire dorm room.

We were screwed.

Quickly as possible, we got dressed, not knowing what would happen that morning.

The thought of asking the girls was never really seriously considered. One day of insane Harry we could handle. Having to spill to the girls that Harry has been insane for as long as they've known him and they didn't have a clue, however, was _not_ something we wanted to do.

When Harry woke...well. Seamus had already taken the precaution of sitting on the other boy's chest, which immediately alerted Harry that something was wrong.

Of course, as he was still half-asleep, he struggled desperately to get out from under the large weight seated comfortably atop him that was hampering his ability to breathe.

Naturally, we all jumped on the bed in order to help hold him down, instead of the more rational choice of removing Seamus, allowing Harry to get up and _then_ explaining what had happened.

Hey, six years of sharing a dorm with Harry Potter would send _anyone_ a little crazy!

I sat on his legs, while Ron and Neville each grabbed an arm. Seamus leaned over and slapped Harry gently. "Wake up, Har!"

Finally, Harry managed to do so. He glared up at us.

Ron, Neville and I exchanged a few glances.

Seamus just glared back.

"What are you all sitting on me for?" Harry asked, giving a pointed attempt at a wriggle that was hindered by our positions.

"We're out of sugar," Seamus told him bluntly. "Think you'll be okay for the day?"

Harry didn't get the chance to answer that one until we were already on our way to breakfast, as that was when Hermione cleared her throat from the door.

Now, Nev, Ron and I could see how very easily this situation could be misinterpreted, so we leapt off Harry and onto the floor. The _hard_ floor...I think I have a bruise.

Seamus, however, either didn't realise or didn't care, and stayed where he was.

"What - "

Neville clapped his hand over her mouth and shook his head warningly before removing it, walking past her and heading for the Common Room.

Ron and I shrugged and followed, as did Hermione.

We left Seamus to make sure Harry got dressed and to find all our bags (in which we'd put our books last night, thankfully) and escorted the dumbfounded Hermione to the Common Room, where she soon broke under the pressure.

"Are you going to explain? I don't get it, what the _hell_ were you all doing? Are Harry and Seamus even _coming_ down? What the _fuck_ is going on?"

Seamus and Harry joined us then, and managed to calm 'Mione down. Of course, this meant that after six years we now had to spill to the girls, but we always knew that would have to happen someday.

* * *

_**Oliver Wood, on Quidditch and Madness**_

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly the most stable student of Hogwarts, graduated or not. I'm obsessive, manic, and I get depressed over a loss far too easily.

It makes me wonder, though.

Think about it.

We all know that the Weasley twins are nuts. They'd have to be to come up with some of the things they do, not to mention their years of creating these things right under the disapproving nose of Molly Weasley. Add in the fact that they spent the majority of their adolescence holed up in their room inhaling god knows what kinds of potion fumes, and really, you can't dispute it. And not that I actually need to add more to prove their insanity, just consider how many Bludgers they've no doubt been hit by.

People could disagree with my reasoning here, of course. Mention that my Chasers, Katie, Alicia and Angelina, are as sane as sane can be.

Yeah, _sure_ they are.

Angelina, as Harry told me in his fifth year, was pretty much channelling my own spirit when it came to captaining the team. A healthy mindset this does _not_ indicate. _And_ she's dating Fred Weasley. Yep, definitely bonkers.

What about Alicia and Katie, you ask? Again, mentioning Bludgers to the head. Quaffles to the head. And the fact that those three can practically read each other's minds. Sharing of insanity, anyone?

Charlie Weasley. He works with _dragons_. Do I need to elaborate here? I think not.

Now let's look at the game itself. Quidditch. Nine letters, six hoops, four balls, two bats and fourteen players. It really isn't the safest of sports, being that it's played up to one hundred feet in the air (at least!) on high-speed brooms, with two balls designed to bludgeon the players.

It's a well-known fact that the Seeker tends to get injured the most. This is partially because the other team's Beaters will try to hit the Bludgers at the opposing Seeker to disable them, and partially because the Seeker is usually of small build and more prone to injury.

As a Keeper, I'm regularly hit with Bludgers so the other teams can score, not to mention the Quaffles that I've saved with my head.

I did have a reason for going off on this tangent on Quidditch and insanity.

I think they're connected.

No, not that all Quidditch players are predisposed to end up mad, although that's a good theory if mine is bunk.

I think that Quidditch attracts the unstable element of the wizarding world.

* * *

_**Percy Weasley, Lamentations of a Brother**_

Bill and Charlie got their good marks without even needing to study much, you know. And it's a hard thing to live up to. Why did you _think_ I was such an uptight bastard? Studying 24/7, that's why. And so I managed to be Head Boy, and get 12 OWLS.

Fred and George never tried; they had their futures planned since they were in the cradle, no doubt.

Ginny, of course, was not only the girl, but the baby. Plus, she was quite good at Quidditch and kept up decent marks - at least after the issue with the diary and possession was resolved.

It was always going to be hard for Ron. He's the youngest brother of six, he's not a Quidditch ace like Charlie (or the twins, for that matter), and he just doesn't have the self-discipline to study the way I did. So what could he do?

I began to worry when he became friends with Harry. I brought it up immediately with Oliver - oh come on, surely you don't think that you can't get to know someone very, very well when you share a room with them for seven damn years?

We're complete opposites, but we're best friends as well.

Oliver agreed with my observation that Ron might just be befriending Harry for the fame. And although I didn't really know the kid, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone Harry - he was just so damn polite!

But then...

About three weeks into their first year, Harry started acting very strange. And then, about a week later, he stopped.

And after that, those five boys seemed so much closer. It was certainly a relief to me.

Mum sort of adopted Harry, which makes him one of us. We've all said it, to his face, even. He gets embarrassed, but I can tell he's pleased.

I guess I'm just glad that, despite the fact that at least half of my siblings - blood kin and otherwise - are insane, none of them are getting into anything that they shouldn't be. Like the Death Eaters.

Oliver is convinced that Quidditch is the sport of insane people. I don't doubt him, actually. Not knowing my family like I do. Not to mention Oliver himself...

* * *

_**Cedric Diggory, Because Even the Dead Have an Opinion**_

I never payed that much attention to Harry, you know? Not until the Tournament, anyway. I mean, I always knew who he was. Hell, _everyone_ knew who the poor kid was. But I never payed attention to _him_.

But now, I spend a lot of time watching over him. I figure he needs a guardian angel, even if there's nothing I can do to help him whatsoever. If nothing else, it makes _me_ feel better - and I know that Lily and James appreciate that I watch him when they can't.

So I found out exactly how Ron, Seamus, Neville and Dean dealt with his insanity. About the sugar. About the way they joke around, calling it medicine. Apparently, they had a real laugh about it in their third year, my sixth, when chocolate was being used to help against the Dementors. I can imagine so; especially with the way Pomfrey was practically shoving it down Harry's throat. A real mother hen, that one.

It's a confusing thing, really. Harry's insanity, I mean. I don't know how to explain it. I don't think _anyone_ knows how to explain it. Dumbledore is nuts, but everyone knows that. And he doesn't need a daily dose of sugar, although he generally does so anyway. But it's not helping _him_. I think the barmy old codger is _way_ too far gone for that. Hell, he held the freaking Triwizard Tournament. Enough said. It got me _killed_.

Yes, I _am_ a little bitter. Get over it.

I'd like to think that if I'd survived, Harry and I would have been closer afterwards. I've always wanted a younger brother, though not full time - I know the Weasleys too well for _that_, and I know the sort of things Gred and Forge do to Percy, Charlie and Bill.

And hey, there's nothing wrong with an insane sibling.

Although, I just hope he's over Cho Chang. He seems to be, but...well, sometimes you can never tell.

You'd think I would want them to be happy together, and if I thought it would be possible, I would.

But Cho...well. She's quite possibly _the_ most self-centred person on the entire planet. And Harry..._isn't_.

So hopefully, he'll find the woman, or man, of his dreams someday. But who knows? Certainly not me.

* * *

_What can I say? It gets odder and odder as it goes along. Ah well._

_Nothanksnoname – Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Hope you keep reading!_

_Please review, and try to be logged in. The reply feature really does make everything a whole lot easier. And its fun!_

_S. Wolf_


	3. Part the Third

_"I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." - Seamus Finnigan._

_**Harry's Sanity**_

_**A Pointless Story in Four Parts**_

**_Part the Third – In Which Harry's Loyalties are Discussed_**

_**The Girl Across the Room**_

We're not the way we seem, you know. Okay, yes, Blaise really is a mysterious, enigmatic, unfeeling bastard, and yes, Draco really is a narcissistic prat, and Theodore actually should be on medication...

But other than that, we're not. And that's just my opinions of them as my best friends, anyway.

I will admit that Greg and Vince aren't the sharpest quills in the inkpot, but they certainly aren't the mindless, near-mute muscle they act like. Those rumours about Greg nearly being held back a year? We started them.

But that isn't what I'm here to talk about.

Harry Potter.

Publicly, we loathe him. Privately...well, it differs from person to person.

Mostly, we're indifferent. A few of the fifth years still loathe him, but that's more due to his constant winning of the Quidditch Cup than anything else.

We sixth years, on the other hand...

Greg, Vince and Millie actually kind of like him. They see him as a kind, quiet person who they would have gotten along with, had he been in Slytherin - like the rumours say he was supposed to be.

Draco, Blaise, Theodore and I find him fascinating.

I mean, for one thing, we all know that he's...how shall I put this? Stark raving mad? And I think that's putting it lightly. But for the most part, his Housemates, and even his closest friends, seem completely oblivious to this fact.

Today was an experience.

Blaise, predictably, was the first to pick up on the whole 'Potter missed his meds' situation. Thankfully, Draco also noticed, so he knew better than to pick any fights in Potions.

And it was today that we discovered that the sixth year Gryffindor boys, Potter's roommates, were fully aware of his lack of mental stability. They, especially Finnigan, were watching him like hawks.

In a way, this reassures me. For one, it means that Potter has a constant watch on him. This makes him blowing up the school and everyone in it less likely. Not a total impossibility, mind you, but with them watching him, it probably won't happen.

I hope.

* * *

_**The Blond in Slytherin Robes**_

I've never liked Harry Potter. Don't ask me why, I probably couldn't give you a valid enough reason. Suffice to say, we just don't get along. Perhaps, had things been different, such as our first meeting and the Houses we were placed in, we might have been friends. Who knows?

Like Pansy, Blaise and Theodore, though, I feel that he is an incredibly interesting individual. There is a lot to be learned from observing Potter, and I like to think that someday, I'll have learned it all.

Theodore likes to joke that Blaise and I are obsessed. He and Pansy observe Potter, but not as...closely.

We're not obsessed.

Blaise tends to point out that he's watching out for the welfare of the school. I can't help but wonder what his excuse will be now that we know Potter's roommates know of his mental state.

But as for me...

As Potter's arch nemesis - at school, at least - I do, of course, see a different side of him than, say, his friends do.

And what I see intrigues me.

He is, as Millicent, Greg and Vince have pointed out to me before, kind, thoughtful, sensitive, quiet and an all around nice guy.

He's brave, reckless, foolhardy, pigheaded and sometimes too caught up in his own world to notice what's going on around him.

He's also cunning, sly, sneaky, loyal, studious (at times, anyway), imaginative, strategic, intelligent, and yet sometimes infinitely naive.

I'm beginning to realise that I might sound a little like a lovesick teenage girl. I'm neither lovesick, nor a girl.

I'm just observant. And someone needs to take note of all these things. Because his roommates, the only people who officially know that he's unstable, can't always take the time to notice when they're too busy preventing him from going off the walls.

And somehow, that someone turned out to be me.

Perhaps that's a good thing. If nothing else, I've learned to observe people without their noticing.

And perhaps, someday, Potter and I will have a discussion, put our differences behind us, and start over.

Perhaps.

* * *

**_The Dark Lord in Contemplation_**

I have a very unique insight into the mind of Harry Potter. Everyone else has to make do with observation, and in the cases of some, conversation.

I have both of those, plus I can see into his mind, on occasion.

Now yes, I am quite aware that the Wizarding World believes me to be insane. And why wouldn't they? I am.

And perhaps this _did _contribute a tiny bit to Harry's insanity. But it's certainly not the cause of it, as Dean Thomas once suggested.

It is, perhaps, a mark of Harry's mental state that he frequently engages in telepathic conversations with me, which is how I know what theories his friends have thought up to explain, well, him.

And it is in these conversations that I learn the most about the boy who is supposed to bring about my downfall.

I do not, however, choose to speak with Harry simply because he is the enemy, and supposedly it is best to keep your friends close and enemies closer.

Conversation with him is...refreshing, for one. It truly is a rare experience for me to be able to speak with someone not afraid to insult me, disagree with me, give honest opinions on my methods and to joke and tease with me.

Besides, no one I've ever met has been able to bitch about Dumbledore with me as well as he has.

I find it more than a little disturbing that Albus Dumbledore has no idea that one of his students, much less his prized Golden Boy, has been mentally unstable almost since the time he set foot in the castle that is supposed to be Dumbledore's domain.

Even back when I was a student there were rumours that Dumbledore knew everything that happened within the school, and no doubt those increased after he became Headmaster. Harry himself has admitted to thinking the man was almost omniscient.

But of course, if dear Albus knows everything that happens within the school, then how the bloody hell did he miss my possession of Quirrell? My diary possessing Ginny Weasley? The fact that Peter Pettigrew spent the better part of ten years under his nose? For that matter, how did he miss James, Peter and Sirius becoming Animagi? And one of the most pressing questions, how did he miss that young Barty Crouch was impersonating Alastor Moody - one of his closest friends?

This has been the subject of many a bitching session, as Harry calls them.

Dumbledore is not omniscient, he is not all-powerful, and he's not a kindly old man making honest mistakes.

He is a fool.

And that is another point. He has no idea that Harry detests him, mistrusts him, and is currently holding neutral in the war.

He has promised that as soon as I reform my methods to suit him, he will side with me.

Personally, I cannot wait to see Albus Dumbledore's face when he finds this out.

* * *

**_The Man Behind the Cauldron_**

Throughout his schooling here at Hogwarts, I have publicly maintained the belief that Harry James Potter is nothing more than the arrogant carbon copy of his father.

Privately, however, I have been forced to re-evaluate my opinion - and what I found as surprised me.

As many people have realised by now, Harry is utterly insane. This is a fact that he and his roommates have probably been concealing since his arrival at the school.

More than anything it is that little fact that worries me - the fact that the only people who knew of this to begin with, the people who worked out how to deal with it, were four (five if you count Harry himself) eleven-year-old boys. And Gryffindors, every one of them.

I suppose it makes me feel a little better to know that the next people to really realise it were my sixth year Slytherins - although I believe they themselves were only thirteen or so at the time.

In all his controlling of the boy's life, it was one major factor that Albus Dumbledore didn't take into account - mainly because he was unaware of it. I can't help but wonder whether the man would have used Harry in the first place, had he known. Perhaps he would have taken control of Neville Longbottom at a young age and moulded him into the mindless follower he wanted.

Merlin forbid _that_.

I'll suppress the urge to rant about Longbottom. Truly, I will. The boy may be abysmal at Potions, but he is one of the four students who keep Harry Potter sane, so that's _some_ credit for him. Just as long as no one ever lets him know that I think that.

Despite everything, however, there is one part of Harry Potter's mind that I am as yet unsure of - and that's his side in this war.

Most people think this is obvious. Voldemort is evil, insane, and killed the boy's parents, as well as Diggory right in front of him. Oh all right, from what I've heard, it was Pettigrew who actually cast the curse. But the principle there is the same.

It isn't that clear-cut.

Yes, Voldemort is insane. So is Dumbledore, and Potter himself. Perhaps it is a requirement for wielding such magical power. After all, Dumbledore and Potter are pretty much the only two people left on the planet who are oblivious to the fact that Harry's power far surpasses Albus's, and I believe his insanity does as well.

And yes, Voldemort killed his parents. But Dumbledore was involved in that as well. If he had insisted upon being the Secret Keeper himself, instead of standing back after his initial offer was rejected and allowing them to choose Black...and not bothering to be around to find out that they switched to Pettigrew...

As for Voldemort being evil...yes, he is. And Dumbledore is a manipulative old bastard. And the Pope is Catholic. And Fudge is a moron. Can I stop stating the obvious now?

Facts are facts.

As I said, it isn't clear-cut. And I personally have no theory as to which way his loyalties will fall.

But, if I'm going to be honest, I must admit that whichever side he chooses, I will follow.

Because as I said, he's more powerful than Dumbledore. And everyone knows that Voldemort's powers equal those of the Headmaster.

The turning tide in this war is a mentally unstable teenager with a sugar addiction.

I'm not sure how worried I should be about that.

* * *

**_The Werewolf in the Classroom_**

The first thing that I'd like to address is the chance that Harry's condition is hereditary. It isn't, I'm afraid.

If it were, I certainly would have known. But neither Lils nor Prongs showed any sign of magically induced insanity, which rules that theory out completely.

And no, we _didn't_ continually drop him on his head. It was only once, and Padfoot and I caught him halfway down anyway. Of course, Lily then refused James any contact with the kid for a week. He crashed on our couch and spent the whole time whining.

Sirius and I frequently deserted him to visit Harry and Lils, who had decided that we were suitable fill-in dads for the time being, since we'd caught the boy and all.

James wasn't very happy about that, especially when Sirius offered to take up 'husbandly duties' as well. Lily just slapped him and kicked _him_ out for the rest of the week as well. Score for me, I got Harry all to myself. Take _that_, Black and Potter!

At the time, Peter was in the middle of his healer training, and we barely saw him. Of course, we know _now_ that there was more than one reason for his absence, but at the time...

But the point is, no, we did not, by genetics or by concussion, cause Harry's insanity. I certainly can't say what _did_, though.

It's almost amusing, the way Harry and Sirius worry about what the other will think of certain things.

A few weeks ago, Harry and I had a lengthy in-depth conversation that, while skirting several issues, seemed to be centred around what Sirius would think of him if he went against Dumbledore.

Let's just say I was a little shocked, but not for the reasons most people would expect.

Harry, after all, had been under Dumbledore's influence since he was eleven, and as such I thought he would be more than a little loyal to the barmy old codger.

Of course, there was also the fact that for the past two years or so, Sirius and I had been debating whether to stick with the Order or leave and imitate Switzerland. We had pretty much decided to stick with the Order, because neither of us were willing to leave Harry, and as far as we knew, Harry was Dumbledore's loyal - if unwitting - pawn.

And here was Harry, offering us the perfect opportunity to seize that neutrality we wanted.

So I, naturally, assured Harry that both Sirius and myself would love and support him no matter what he chose - even if he wanted to go all the way past neutrality and onto Voldemort's side.

He then surprised me again by getting this very strange, half amused look on his face and saying, "Funny you should mention that, Moony..."

Talk about heart-attack inducing sentences!

He quickly explained how he and Voldemort, or Tom as he calls him, have a mental connection through which they converse. And it was due to these conversations that Harry really became aware of Dumbledore's manipulations, and also, it was due to them that Voldemort was reforming the way he led the Death Eaters.

These reforms were, apparently, Harry's condition upon considering joining the Dark Lord. And he had told Tom that, should the reforms meet with his standards, he could probably be convinced to join him.

Needless to say, Voldemort is enforcing these reforms quite strongly.

After all, who _wouldn't_ want Harry Potter on their side in this war?

* * *

_Yep, fun fun fun, odd odd odd. I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!_

_Sorry, just had to get that out. I've had no Internet access for the past eight or so days. And I now have it back. I'm happy._

_JitterBug – I'm glad you ended up liking it._

_BeBobALula – Thank you. Going? Not really going anywhere…but heh. Your future happiness? Oh dear. Hopefully this chapter shall help._

_And one more big thank you to everyone who reviewed. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much and do so again. Heh._

_S. Wolf_


	4. Part the Fourth

_"I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." - Seamus Finnigan._

_**Harry's Sanity**_

_**A Pointless Story in Four Parts**_

**_Part the Fourth – The Finale in Which No Conclusions of Any Kind are Actually Reached_**

**_The Lead-Up to the End_**

**_ A Little Back-Story – That is, We Skipped Several Hours..._**

Lunch had been incredibly tense. Hermione, Lavender and Parvati had spent the entire time eyeing the boys, while Seamus, and to a lesser extent Dean, Ron and Neville, had been eyeing Harry.

Harry, on the other hand, had been ignoring the fact that he was being watched from at least three parts of the room and had eaten his lunch as though he hadn't a care in the world. And by the time lunch was over and Seamus had somehow stolen a sugar quill from a first year and given it to him, perhaps he actually didn't have a care in the world.

But it was definitely tense.

Ron, of all people, had led them to the library after the meal was over, and they had made their way to the back of the shelves to the large yet secluded table that was hidden there.

None of the boys had known where to start.

Hermione had solved that problem for them. "All right, spill it. What the hell was going on this morning?"

Neville shrugged. "Harry's insane."

"Am not," Harry muttered petulantly.

Seamus gave him a sad look. "Harry...I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous."

Harry responded with a bright grin. "Yes, I know."

Seamus rolled his eyes.

Dean just gestured to Harry while giving the girls a wry smile. "See, insane."

The conversation turned technical from there.

By the time the explanations were over, the girls were convinced, as well as supportive. Hermione, of course, wanted to get researching right away. But the three of them headed back to the Common Room first, sensing that the boys needed some time to get used to the girls knowing their biggest secret.

It was Ron who eventually broke the silence. "I think they took it well."

Harry snorted and threw the nearest book at him. "Moron. I think you are insane."

* * *

_**The Afternoon Eavesdropping**_

Masquerading as a stereotypical Ravenclaw, Lisa Turpin spent the majority of her free time in the Hogwarts library.

However, contrary to popular (and carefully cultured) belief, she did not spend that time studying. Well, mostly. She was a Ravenclaw, after all.

Lisa had found that the library was, amazingly enough, one of the biggest breeding grounds for gossip in the castle - not because people gossiped in there, which would have earned them death by Madame Pince, but because people never expected anyone to be listening to them in the library.

For some reason, the majority of the students either believed the library was the best place for these private discussions, or they just didn't expect to be overheard.

And we it not for Lisa's curious nature, they probably wouldn't have been.

Her aunt once said that stickybeaking was in their blood. Her older brother, Matthew, had refuted this, saying that it was reporting that was in their blood.

As the editor at the Daily Prophet, he was entitled to say this. And as his inside correspondent, she was fairly sure she was entitled to agree.

Of course, Lisa had never yet managed to hear anything worthy of being printed in the newspaper, which she was quite disappointed about.

It wasn't long before her luck changed.

Had Lisa arrived in the library and happened upon the conversation she did half an hour earlier, she would have had even more to relay back to Matt. Unfortunately for her, and somewhat fortunately for those involved, she did not.

However, she did arrive in time to hear another part of the discussion in question - and it was enough.

She was standing at a shelf near the back of the library, actually looking for a potions book she wanted to get out, when she began hearing the faint voices and moved closer.

Peering through the shelves, she saw the sixth year Gryffindor boys at the back table, and was somewhat surprised when Harry Potter threw a book at his best friend.

"Moron. I think you are insane."

Neville seemed highly amused. "Er, Harry? Pot. Kettle. Little bit o' name calling?"

Harry shrugged. "What can I say? I still think you're all insane. Mad as hatters."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Uh, no. Well, maybe a little. But Har, if we're as mad as hatters, you're madder than the hatter and his personal talking octopus."

"Well..."

"Oh face it, Harry," Ron sighed. "You know as well as we do that you're mentally unstable. Now let's get back to the Common Room before Hermione sends a search party. With straightjackets."

Harry nodded. "All right. But only because I don't want her setting up a date with a psychiatrist for me. Bleeding mental asylums are NOT where crazy people belong."

He gained four raised eyebrows and a thrown book from Seamus as the five of them stood up.

Lisa shifted further into the aisles as the boys left.

"Matthew's going to have a field day with this!" she whispered excitedly to herself, pulling out a sheet of parchment to write to her brother.

* * *

_**The Evening Letter**_

Matthew Turpin didn't actually have anything against Harry Potter, and hadn't been in control when Rita Skeeter had been writing for the Prophet.

But, as any idiot would know, the best sort of article is one that will catch the public's attention. And what does that better in the wizarding world than stories on the Boy-Who-Lived?

Nothing, that's what.

And that was why Matt had instructed his younger sister to take special notice of any reliable gossip regarding the boy - particularly anything that came from his friends or even himself.

It was just after dinner when he received the owl from Lisa.

'Dear Matty,

Oh my god, you'll never believe it! Harry Potter is insane!

Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking. All that nonsense Rita wrote two years ago...but this is genuine.

Here, you recall that spell you taught me, how to transcribe past conversations onto parchment? I'll use that. You make your own conclusions. I'll do it on another sheet, though.

Have fun writing the article! I'll hope to see it tomorrow morning.

Love Lisa'

He wasn't sure whether he wanted to believe it or not, but read the transcript anyway.

And after that, he knew that it was irrefutable.

Harry Potter was, as Lisa claimed, insane.

And it was Matt's duty to tell the world.

* * *

_**The Beginning of the End**_

_**The Breakfast Arrival**_

To everyone's relief, Seamus had managed to get his hands on several chocolate frogs and a sugar quill, and Harry's 'medication ritual' went off without a hitch yet again.

The boys met up with the girls in the Common Room before heading down to breakfast together, Harry still sucking on his sugar quill.

And despite her best efforts and the knowledge that it was the main reason the school was still standing, Hermione couldn't help but frown in disapproval. Being the daughter of two dentists tends to instate a deep-seated belief that eating sweets before breakfast was Bad.

Thankfully, Harry temporarily abandoned it for his breakfast once they were seated, and she was able to put the thoughts out of her mind.

It seemed, to everyone in the room, that life at Hogwarts was back to, well, relative normality. And just about every person in the Great Hall who had known that anything was wrong in the first place gave a sigh of relief.

And then the post arrived.

**The End, Until the Continuation in the Sequel…**

**

* * *

**

_Yes, I know. Lack of ending. And I also know its been more than a week or so since I posted the last chapter. Er, oops? Events conspired against me and thus I became busy. Oh well, it's up now._

_Now, the sequel…you see, I got to that end with the post arriving and tried to go on, with reactions from all through the Great Hall. Sadly, I got stuck. Therefore, I decided to do the reactions in a sequel. And maybe, just maybe, add in a little plot to do with the whole Voldemort angle. But hey, who knows? Sadly I don't know when I'll write it, but I've sworn to a writing session tomorrow, so _something _should get updated soon._

_VvvScreamvvV – Heh, glad you like. Yeah that IS mean, that concert sounds like it would have been fun._

_Silver Sparklze – (Grins) Hey, I probably shouldn't have liked writing it nearly as much as I did. But I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry the update took a while._

_elle – Glad you think so!_

_Raven2k5 – Thank you. Personally, I agree that it gets better, but this chapter…well. I know it isn't as good as previous ones._

_Oh, and if you liked the way the last two chapters were written, I've got a oneshot called Hay Fever written in the same style. Just a little shameless self-advertising. Hee._

_So anyway, do tell me what you thought of the chapter, the fic in general, er…you know, all that stuff._

_Love to you all, and a belated Happy New Year!_

_S. Wolf_


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